My Life as a Roller Coaster
by psycho-uchiha
Summary: Naruto has issues with his mother, first, she's bipolar and directs all of her episodes towards him, leaving him emotionless around her and doesn't even consider her his mother after nine years of her torment and abuse. Not only does he have to deal with her, his own actions are starting to reflect what his mother does, and he directs it towards himself. Rated M for later chapters.
1. Chapter 1

_**Chapter 1**_

_**The Truth Hurts**_

I woke up with my alarm blaring in my ears. To be honest, I didn't want to get up, let alone move. But I knew that if I didn't turn off that alarm, I'd get my ass handed to me, so I sat up in bed and reached for my alarm, shutting it off and throwing my feet over the side of my bed.

My whole body hurt, not only did I have to get my ass handed to me at school, I came home and my mother, Kushina, was throwing a fit that the dishes weren't clean and beat me with a fucking broom. Dad only came home about an hour afterwards so he had no clue what happened. Like he'd believe me anyway. Mom was his favorite person, I could be dead for all he cared.

"Get up, I'm leaving in half an hour and if you aren't ready I'm leaving your ass here." My father, Minato, said through my bedroom door and I mentally cursed him out as I got up and turned the lights on in my room.

There wasn't much, I had a bed, a dresser and a computer desk - which I had no computer for and clothes inside that dresser and a small closet. You could say that I should be grateful for everything I have, but having a bipolar mother and a father that's usually not around when she's having her episodes is a little beyond frustrating. Sure, my father was head of the police force, but sometimes I just wished that he stayed home for a week and spent time with me.

Hell, I don't even remember the last time Dad and I did anything with each other.

Sighing, and as quick as I could, I dug into my dresser for a pair of black skinny jeans and a long sleeved orange and black shirt. I grabbed a pair of clean boxers and a tank top to go under the sweater.

It was the end of September, and for Autumn just beginning, it's colder than usual. I'm just glad that Mom took me shopping during one of her good moods and got me a whole bunch of cold weather attire.

I threw all my clothes onto my bed and took off all my clothes, that's when I got a good glimpse of what my 'battle scars' as I call them, really looked like.

I looked like someone ran me over with their car and proceeded to beat me with a bat. A very thin bat to say the least since it was the handle of the boom Mom was hitting me with. God, why couldn't she see a shrink or something and get put on medication? Oh, that's right, Mom refuses to acknowledge she needs help and Dad refuses to listen to me.

There were other scars, too, because once in a while, I'd take a razor I got from Dad's garage and start cutting my legs. I wouldn't dare cut my arms because sometimes I wear short sleeved shirts, but since the weather is getting cold and doesn't look like we're getting any warmer for a long while, I'm probably going to start cutting up there too.

"Fifteen minutes!" Dad's voice echoed from the hallway and I quickly got changed and shoved my feet into a pair of black socks and a pair of VANS street shoes that needed to be replaced soon.

"I'll be out there in a few minutes Dad." I yelled back because I heard him walk down the hall and towards either the living room or the kitchen. I'm going to guess the kitchen because I could smell eggs and toast being made. Great, another morning with an egg sandwich. I'm starting to get sick of eggs.

Sighing once more, I picked up my back pack and rushed out of my room and to the kitchen where I saw Dad sitting at the table eating a bowl of cereal and Mom at the stove making eggs.

"Morning dear." Mom said, completely oblivious to what happened last night. It's always like this.

"Morning Mom." I said, trying not to let slip about the beating as Dad sipped at his coffee. Smelling the coffee made my mouth water, so I put my back pack on my seat and grabbed a mug from the cupboard and got me a cup of coffee, drowning it in sugar and milk before stirring it all together and set it on the table before getting a small bottle of orange juice, sitting down just as Mom set two plates of sandwiches down and she sat down between Dad and me.

"So, hon, how long are you going to work today?" Mom asked.

"I think I'll be home on a regular schedule today." Dad said, and he sounded amused that she even asked.

"What about you Naruto?" Mom asked as I sipped at my wonderful coffee.

"I don't know, I remember Kabuto-sensei saying that we might have a project starting this week. He said it'll be with partners, but I highly doubt it." I answered with a shrug of my shoulders, putting my coffee down and picked at my sandwich before picking it up and taking a bite out of it. Yes, I was so totally done with eggs.

"Well, either way, call your father to let him know. I have a double shift at the hospital today." Mom said as she took a bite of her breakfast. Mom was a registered nurse at the hospital and, normally, she only worked one shift and that was usually the first shift so she could be home and have dinner made when Dad got home … if he didn't have a homicide to dig into. "Someone called in sick and I was asked to fill in for her."

"That's okay Kushina, I think Naruto will be just fine, though." Dad said as he finished off his cereal and drank the rest of his coffee. "Lets go Naruto."

"Okay Dad." I said, happily dropping my sandwich and taking only the toast as I got up and grabbed my back pack.

"See you boys later." Mom said happily.

"By Mom." I said, not to piss her off.

"By hon." Dad said as the two of us walked out of the door, keys in his hand and I rushed down the front steps to the car.

On the ride to school, it was quiet save for the radio playing classic rock music on station 95.3FM. I think ACDC was playing.

"Okay, don't forget to text or call me if you're not going straight home." Dad said as we pulled up into the school campus and he turned right into the parking lot. There weren't that many cars there yet, but since Dad is a cop, he goes into work half an hour before I'm supposed to be here, and I'd rather ride with him than Mom …

"I'll let you know Dad." I sighed when the car stopped.

"I'll also let you know if I'll be home for dinner, you're probably going to have to fend for yourself tonight since your mom is pulling a double shift." Dad reminded me.

"Dad, if all else fails, I'll order a pizza." I said as I got out of the car, slinging my back pack over my shoulder and closed the door, waving bye to each other and I made my way up the stairs and into the building.

When the doors closed, I walked up to my locker since it was close by and changed out my text books for my morning classes and went to the cafeteria. I loved the mornings, I was alone for half an hour at most until some other kids showed up. And I always found this the perfect time to get some writing done.

So, since I've got permission from the principal, Tsunade, I get to use my laptop in school, so I dragged it out of my back pack and set it on the table before I sat down and turned it back on from its sleep and cracked my knuckles before putting in my password and brought back up the document I opened last night but didn't start just yet. Hell, I had the idea when I walked into the school, but now I lost it.

Fucking hell ... Then it hit me, and I typed away like my keyboard was on fire.

_**Take a hike you low life fucking freak**_

_**You're nothing but a disease that doesn't know when to go away**_

_**Go away you fucking moron.**_

_**Get a fucking life … fucking parasite**_

_ Those words repeated in my head like a fucking broken record. I couldn't stand hearing those words again and again and again from others and the voices inside my head every day. It was just too much. Even me taking the razor to my arms when I got home from school didn't help the voices shut up._

_ "Hey, Amelia, it's time for dinner. I know you got a lot of homework to do, but come eat dinner with us." My mom said outside my bedroom door._

_ They always thought I was working on my homework when I come lock myself in my bedroom after school. But I always have my homework done before I even go home. That's the amazing planning I got when I got study hall as a last period of the school day._

_ But, if my mother and father ever found out what I really did after school … I'd probably be sent to some mental asylum, that's what their opinions are about those who cut themselves; "It makes me sick, hurting themselves … it's all just for attention." My mom would say. "They're just selfish pests that ran out of ideas to get attention." My father would say._

_**Yea, you don't need your parents shoving you there**_

_**You'll never see the light of day again, right?**_

_ But no, from experience, people who truly use cutting as an escape, are people trying to run away from their problems. Trying to run away from life and everything builds up on them so much that they find it as their only escape from reality because once the flesh is sliced open, all the emotions that have built up inside you are released, even though it's a temporary release._

_ "Be there in a minute Mom." I said, and she finally walked away from my bedroom door._

_ I sighed heavily and got up from my bed where I had been sitting since I got home. I needed to clean up, change and get some gauze and wrappings around my arms before I even thought about going to eat dinner with Mom and Dad. And they were waiting, so I needed to be quick._

_ I grabbed my night clothes and rushed to the bathroom, knowing no one was in there, I closed the door behind me and locked it. I, honestly, was glad I only focused on one arm today, because if I had focused on both, I would have gotten blood everywhere and I didn't need them questioning me … not now._

_ Dropping my clothes on the back of the toilet, I put the toilet lid down to make sure my clothes didn't fall into the toilet and opened the mirror and pulled down the ace bandages and gauze along with the Neosporin and turned the sink water on._

_ I grabbed a black wash cloth from the cabinet and got it soaking before I washed off my arm. Some of the blood had dried, just a tad bit, so it hurt getting all the blood off with fresh blood dripping from the three cuts I made. I only made three cuts today, and I felt like I wanted to make hundreds more already, but I couldn't without getting caught._

_ Wincing a little bit and I finally got the blood to stop, I grabbed the gauze and opened three of the packs and doused them in Neosporin and placed them on my cuts. I liked Neosporin, it helped my cuts heal much faster, and I didn't have many scars thanks to it. So once the gauze were stuck to where I wanted them, I grabbed the ace wrap and wrapped my arm as tight as I could but not so it would hurt like hell and make my whole arm throb up to my shoulder._

_ When I was satisfied with my bandage, I turned the water off, tossed the rag into the hamper and changed my blood soaked clothes into my night clothes; a pair of flannel night pants and a skin tight long sleeved shirt. I'll be changing into a tank top when I got to my room, but since I'm eating dinner with my parents, I'll need the long sleeves._

_ "You coming Ami?" Mom asked from down the hall, and I realized I had been in there about ten minutes. I quickly gathered my bloodied clothes and bunched them in my arms so that the blood wouldn't be seen and threw the trash into the bundle as well and put the box of gauze and the Neosporin back into the mirror and went back to my room._

_ "Be there in a minute Mom." I said, tossing my clothes into my hamper by my door and I made my way out to the kitchen … not prepared for dinner at all._

Then the bell rang and I hissed for losing track of time. I couldn't believe half an hour had already passed, and I wanted to get my laptop put away before too many kids came into the school. That just comes with being in high school, I guess.

And once my laptop slid back into my back pack, the kids stormed into the school and half of them lined up for breakfast as usual. I just continued to sit where I was and pulled out my notebook, hand writing the rest of what was on my mind until the next bell rang in fifteen minutes for us all to get to class.

"Hey, blondie, whatcha working on?" A familiar voice asked behind me and I sighed heavily.

"None of your business Kiba." I grumbled as he sat down on my right and Chouji sat down on my left … the school's two bullies of the Sophomore class. Kiba Inuzuka and Chouji Akimunchi, uhm, I mean Akimichi, and both of them just loved making my life a living hell.

"It's always my business when it comes to you, blondie." Kiba said with a smirk, then he managed to somehow take my notebook from me, and I was glad I didn't get to write anything down in it … I really don't want him to know what I'm working on.

"It's completely empty." He huffed and tossed it back to me. He now looked bored out of his mind … and I hated it when he was bored out of his mind.

"What do you think we can do now, Chouji?" Kiba asked, turning so his back was to the table and leaned back as he put his arms on the table. His usual pose that meant something bad was on his mind.

"I guess we could drag the blonde to the bathroom and give him a swirlly." Chouji suggested, but Kiba scoffed at the idea. They did it to me so many times, I could guess that Kiba was bored with the idea.

"I'd love to take the blondie outside into the woods behind the school and beat him to a bloody pulp and make someone find him." Kiba sighed.

"Sometimes I wonder how you two forget that I'm the son of the police chief …" I sighed heavily and picked my notebook up and forced my way out of the bench I was sitting on since the two were sitting so close to me. I was beyond annoyed now.

"Oh, I remember blondie." Kiba said, and when I looked at him, he was smirking … and that made my stomach flip and sink as far as it could possibly go.

"Then leave me alone." I hissed and made my way to my first period class, glad that I didn't have any classes whatsoever with either of those two and, honestly, I looked forward to talking with Sakura when I got to the classroom. We had Advanced Biology together and I prayed that we'd be partners for the upcoming project we were supposed to be doing, that is, if we even got assigned partners.

Oh, I only prayed … I really didn't want to be paired with the school's asshole … Sasuke Uchiha. And asshole was, honestly, an understatement in my opinion. Yes, I know his parents died last year, but he didn't have any right to yell at me in front of the whole school, telling them how much of a fag I am and proceed to try and beat the shit out of me before Tsunade pried him off of me by his hair and sent him to the office.

We were going out at some point before that, but I don't even know what I did to set him off, and he's never answered me whenever I asked. And since he's become somewhat an anti-social jerk who cares only for himself, I don't care if he ever answered me.

"Oh, Naruto! I didn't think you'd be here this early!" Sakura's charming voice rang into my ears from the back of the classroom as she waved from her seat that was next to mine and I smiled, for the first time this morning. I guess I was happy to see her.

"Hey Sakura." I waved back and made my way to the back of the classroom and sat down next to her. "How was your weekend?"

"It was boring, as usual." She sighed in sarcasm, something she's mastered since she started high school. "What about your weekend?"

"You know how it is in my house!" I whispered sharply. "I don't get the chance to go anywhere because my Dad works in the police station and my Mom is a total nut case that works at the hospital with Tsunade as a registered nurse."

"I know, but you can tell me if you made any progress on what you started writing." She said with a small wave of her hand. "The story you told me about yesterday."

"Oh, I didn't actually start it at all last night." I told her. "My muse ran away and I went to bed with writers' block, I got started on it this morning, but I didn't get very far. I'll email you a copy after school."

"I can't wait, but first, is it depressing?" She asked.

"Of course, I only write depressing shit if my life is nothing but depressing shit." I said, crossing my arms as I looked down at the work table. Sighing, I started praying that my mother would get the help she needs, and soon, because I'm going to start going to Tsunade every time she raises a hand to me from now on. But deep down … I know I won't even try. I'm too much of a coward to go for help.

"What did your Mom do this weekend?" Sakura asked, her voice low, and I knew exactly what she was wanting to know.

"She beat me to a bloody pulp with the broom handle Friday after school because I came home late. I told her I sent her a text, but she claims she never got it. And after arguing with her about it for an hour, I go to my room and find out my phone never sent the message." I said, my voice also low, but for some reason I couldn't make eye contact with her. And that never happens.

"That's just so … unforgiving of her Naruto." Sakura argued.

"I know, but you know just as well as I do that she's bipolar, but she refuses to see it and doesn't get any help for it." I sighed. "I don't know what to do anymore."

"You should talk to Tsunade, she is your 'grandmother', tell her about it." Sakura said, and I knew she was right in me going to her and confide in my so called grandmother. But honestly, I don't even know where to start with Tsunade. She's just as bipolar as my mother is.

"You really think I should go to her?" I asked, though it's something I've asked myself a million times, and wondered why I haven't done it yet.

"Yes, I think you should." She said, and just before the bell for everyone to get to their classes, so we had another five minutes to freely talk with each other before class officially started and five minutes before creepy Kabuto-sensei walks through the door. I swear, Kabuto has to be schizophrenic or something, no one is obsessed with chemistry or biology like he is, unless you want to count crazy Orochimaru-sensei next door who teaches advanced chemistry and biology. God, I'm so glad I'm not in his classes!

"I'll think about it … and if I've made up my mind, you won't see me in class early tomorrow." I told her, and she seemed okay with the idea, and we went silent on the subject as students started flowing into the classroom. And for once, Kabuto-sensei was early. I guess he's excited about these projects he's making us do also.

"Everyone hurry to your seats, I want to get class started." He said, slapping a ruler on the desk as he started opening his planner and pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose, not until I notice he's looking at me with a freaky ass grin on my face and all of a sudden I felt like I was being targeted. I always felt like that around him when he stares at me like that.

"I hope we aren't made to be partnered with people we can't work with. I don't know what I'll do if I have to work with Ino-pig." Sakura muttered under her breath and crossed her arms as she glared at the blonde that sat at the front of the class with the class genius, Shikamaru, whom I'm surprised isn't in advanced classes. I guess it's because he's a lazy ass bum … a smart ass lazy bum.

"I hope so too, I'd rather work with you than anyone else." I told her. "I don't get along with anyone else but you."

"I know." She agreed as the last bell rang and everyone quickly took their seats as Kabuto-sensei stood up with his planner and cleared his throat.

"Good morning class, and as you all know, last week I suggested that we all start our semester projects, and this semester, we're working in the animal field. Now, based on what animal you're going to be researching on, some of you will be doing a presentation and the others will be doing a dissection. Since I have thirty students, I've devised the classroom into five different groups, then each group will have a sub group and each sub group will have three students working on the same project. Here are your sheets showing what animals we're going to be going over." He said before grabbing a stack of papers and handed a portion of it to the front of the class to pass back, and by the time I got it, I wasn't looking forward to the stupid project at all. But when I looked at the sheet, I think I got some of the spirit back;

**Mammals-**

**Cats**

**Dogs**

**Amphibians-**

**Frogs**

**Toads**

**Fish-**

**Catfish**

**Sharks**

**Insects-**

**Beetles**

**Worms**

**Shellfish-**

**Crawfish**

**Clams**

"Now, I'm expecting you all to get along with your groups. And no one is choosing their own partners, I already have them planned out." Kabuto-sensei said, and he had that grin on his face again and I sank in my chair. God no, please, don't tell me he's partnering me with that bastard!

"Okay, first group, the three students working together on the Cats family, is Naruto Uzumaki, Sakura Haruno, and Sasuke Uchiha."

I cheered mentally when I heard Sakura's name … but my stomach sank all the way to the floor when I heard Sasuke's name being called. And when I looked over at Sakura, she looked pissed, but also happy she wasn't paired with Ino.

"You three will be choosing a cat to work on and your project will be a presentation." Kabuto-sensei continued saying, and I wrote down my partners' names along with what cat I think we should work on and Sakura had the same idea on what cat we should work on too when I saw her notes; black jaguar.

To be honest, I had hoped we got the dog part of the four legged mammals bit … I would love to look over information on the fox and shit, but no, the universe hates me.

"Okay class, now that we have our designated groups, gather your things and lets go to the library. All this week that's where we're going to meet so use this time wisely to do your research." Kabuto-sensei said and everyone groaned, including me, as we all gathered our things and headed out to the library.

"I can't believe we have to work with him." I grumbled to myself, though I hoped Sakura heard me too.

"I know, but we'll have to deal with it for now." Sakura whined.

"Why couldn't my Dad get a restraining order against him?" I whimpered, my head falling as we walked into the library and we found a table to work at. I was going to use my laptop instead of a school computer … I hated those things. Apple sucks butt if you ask me.

"Okay, how are we going to do this?" I asked, honestly, I wanted to put the report together and get the presentation in order. I did best in those areas anyway.

"I'll do the research!" Sakura sang as she raised her hand when Sasuke sat down, then our whole table got quiet.

"Okay, teme, I'm doing the report, Sakura is doing the research so I guess the presentation is your part." I told him, crossing my arms as I waited for my laptop to fully turn on.

"I'll do some research too, and I'll supply the presentation stuff." Sasuke mumbled, his gaze completely off to the side and it sounded like he hadn't really used his voice in forever. Not only that, but he looked like he didn't even want to be here in the first place.

"And students, before you get too far in your research, Wikipedia is off limits." Kabuto-sensei said, and I heard the whole room groan. I guess everyone was using wikipedia.

"I'll go get a computer from the desk, so we can sit here together and do research Naruto." Sakura said as she got up and skipped up to the front desk and checked out a computer.

"I'm going to go pick out a book …" Sasuke sighed as he got up.

"We're doing the black jaguar." I told him, but I honestly think he let my words go in one ear and out the other

I scowled at him when Sakura came back with a laptop and sat down next to me, I slammed my password in and pushed the enter button and crossed my arms again. God, I must really be hated here.

"What's wrong?" Sakura asked as she got the school laptop up and running with her log in and password.

"Teme, is what's wrong. I tell him what were researching on and he disappears into the damn book shelves." I hissed, opening my web browser and went straight to Google.

"If I know him, Naruto, he's off looking for a thesaurus." Sakura said, and I couldn't believe she defended him. But it is understandable; Sasuke would never let his grades fall no matter who the hell he worked with.

"Whatever." I grumbled and typed in 'black jaguar' after I got the images to come up since I want to see what the damn kitty looked like before I did some serious research on it.

By the time lunch came, I was all ready to go home. I didn't want to even get my lunch I was so tired. Gai-sensei knows how to make you work so hard you wished you were dead.

I just want to know who's bright idea it was to make classes an hour long, because I sure as hell could go without an hour of gym.

"God, why can't Tsunade-baa-chan tell Gai-sensei that he needs to tone it down in gym?" I asked, totally skipping the lunch line and sat down at my usual table with Sakura, who got herself some food since she doesn't have Gai-sensei until later in the day.

"I know right?" She agreed as she sat down on my left.

"He should meet my father, my Dad could use a workout like that every day." I mumbled, though I know it wasn't true. My father can beat anybody's ass with a hand tied behind his back.

"Naruto, you know your father could wipe the floor with Gai-sensei." Sakura giggled, getting my joke as she took a bite of whatever it was the school decided to call food these days.

"I know, but it's all because Gai-sensei gets frustrated while he's fighting my Dad and my Dad knows how to take the upper hand." I laughed when someone shoved their lunch into my back and something cold fell from the top of my head.

Oh, my God … what the hell just happened?

"Looks good on you Naruto." Kiba's jeers laughed as I heard footsteps walking away from me … and the whole cafeteria laughing at me.

"That's not funny Kiba!" I heard Sakura yelling after him, but to be honest, everything around me started sounding dull, like my ears were starting to be clogged with ear wax or something.

And I didn't realize I was standing up until I was already walking out of the cafeteria and into the hallway with Sakura yelling my name behind me.

"Naruto, you need to call home. I doubt you have a spare change of clothes that doesn't smell like sweat." She said when she caught up with me a moment later. But I wasn't really paying attention to her. I was trying very hard to keep my thoughts from ripping someone's head off right now.

"I know that Sakura, but thank you." I said, turning a corner and barging into the main office.

"Shizune! I need baa-chan now!" I yelled when I got inside the main office, and for once, Shizune jumped at my sudden entrance.

"Oh my, what happened Naruto?" She asked … like she really needed to fucking ask.

"Do I really look like you need to ask!?" I yelled. "Kiba and his smart ass friend Chouji dumped their fucking lunches all over me!" I added, pointing to the snot the cafeteria was serving today along side what Sakura was eating.

"There is no need to be yelling in my office you brat! What do you want me to do?" Tsunade yelled from her office before she opened its door and walked out behind Shizune … before she tried to stifle a laugh.

"It's not fucking funny!" I yelled at the top of my lungs before I suddenly picked up a chair and threw it through the glass doors behind me in anger. "I've fucking had it with everything!" I added and stormed out of the office and out of the school. It might be a half hour walk home from the school, but I didn't care.

"Get back here Naruto!" Tsunade yelled, and she sounded pissed off, but I ignored her as I continued walking. Let her call my father, I don't fucking care!

It didn't hit me how cold it was until a gust of wind smacked me across my face, reminding me that I had some sort of liquid in my hair and all over my clothes, which made it twice as cold as it really was.

"Shit!" I yelled. "I forgot my stuff in the classroom! Oh fucking well, Sakura will bring it over for me after school."

I sighed and shoved my hands under my under arms to keep my fingers warm, glad that I never keep my keys or my wallet and cell phone in my back pack, I'd be totally fucked over if I did.

That's when my phone started ringing, and I was only half way home.

"Hello? Naruto speaking …" I said when I managed to dig my phone out of my pocket and opened … but I wasn't prepared to hear my father yelling in my ear.

"What the fuck is your problem Naruto?"

"Oh, I don't know, maybe I'm trying to keep myself from beating in a couple of faces by walking home for a change of goddamn clothes!" I yelled back.

"What are you doing? You know it's school hours!" Dad yelled once again.

"Well I'm sorry if I want to change out of sludge soaked clothes, Dad." I yelled, putting nice emphasis on the word 'dad' on purpose. "Now I'm hanging up, talk to you later father."

And I slammed my phone shut before shoving it back in my pocket, but I didn't do it without turning my phone off. I'm also glad that Dad called, it made me walk home much faster and I was on my street before I even knew it.

"I'm going to have to yell at him more often." I shrugged, turning onto my street and up to my house through our yard since it was the third house from the corner and pulled my key out as I ran up the front steps and unlocked the door.

And lo and behold, my fathers' car skidded to a stop in our drive way and I heard a door slam as I entered the house and closed the door behind me. I made sure I ran up the stairs to my bedroom before he got in and slammed my door closed. Before I started getting undressed I looked in my full body mirror on my closet door to see what damage was actually made. It looked like I had chocolate milk dumped on my head and what the school called Mac and Cheese on my back along with what looked like mashed potatoes and gravy on top of it.

Fucking hell, my shirt is officially fucking ruined!

"Get your ass down here Naruto! Now!" Dad yelled as I heard him come up the stairs.

"I'm getting in the shower." I yelled at him, taking my shirt off and throwing it in the hamper by my bedroom door and went into my dresser for a clean change of clothes.

"You are going to explain yourself first for why in the hell you threw that chair in Tsunade's office!" Dad said loudly before coming into my room, and now I wished he hadn't. He could see every scar on my body, every bruise I've had since Friday and every scab that was starting to go away from late Friday night since I decided to cut myself after Mom beat me. And his silence showed me that he wasn't pissed off at me anymore.

"I'll explain it to you when I'm more calm." I told him, grabbing my clothes and pushed past him and locked myself in the bathroom. I wanted to get this lunch filth off of me.

I took an hour in the shower, not something I had planned, it just happened. But one thing was for sure; I was clean and I was completely calmed down. And I could talk to my father this way, if he was still here that is. I knew I couldn't return to school, if I did, I'd only be there an hour and it'd be a waste of time for me.

"You done Naruto?" My fathers' voice asked through the door, and I was startled that he didn't go back to work.

"Yea, I'm done." I said, wrapping the towel around my waist when I was done drying off and unlocked the bathroom door and stepped out to find Dad standing there waiting for me, and it was strange because of the way he looked me over.

"Seriously, I'm getting dressed before we talk." I sighed and went back into the bathroom to grab my clothes and went into my room. The only reason why I didn't change in the bathroom was because I had the water too hot. Well, I also decided to get dressed into something more comfortable since I'm not going back to school.

When I was dressed into a pair of my flannel night pants from last night and a tank top, since the news of everything is out of the bag now, there's no need to hide it anymore, I went downstairs and into the living room where I found Dad sitting in the recliner, so I sat down in the couch. I didn't want to look him in the eye.

"So, what's going on at school?" Dad asked after a few minutes.

"It's all from gym." I lied, leaning back in the couch and sank into it.

"I know you're lying, Naruto." Dad sighed heavily, and from the corner of my eye, I could see him rubbing his temples in frustration.

"Well I'm not, and you know how much of a damn clutz I am. I hurt myself all the time." I sighed, hugging myself to keep myself from picking the skin around my nails, another habit I wished I never had.

"Could you not talk like that around me, please?" Dad asked, but I always tried not to curse in front of him. "Now, tell me what happened at school?"

"Kiba and Chouji dumped their lunches on me … after Kiba threatened with the idea of taking me to the woods behind the school and beat me to a bloody pulp and just leaving me there for someone to find. Oh, and lets not forget that Kabuto-sensei decided that I needed to be paired with Sasuke-fucking-teme for our science project." I ranted, my voice getting louder unconsciously as I spoke. "Thank fucking God that I'm also paired with Sakura."

"Wait, you're in a group project … with Sasuke?" Dad asked, now he sounded pissed off … now that I think about it, he wasn't supposed to know about that.

"Uhm … yea?" I said, hesitating because I know he'd possibly blow up in my face.

"If he lays one finger on you, you tell me and I'll make sure there's a restraining order against the brat." Dad hissed, but he didn't blow up like I thought.

"I know Dad, and you know I'll tell you if he did." I said, rolling my eyes a little bit and hoped he didn't see it.

"But, I am having a word with Kiba's and Chouji's parents. This has got to stop." Dad said, yea, now he cares. "And don't think I'm done with you yet either, you are going to help pay for a new door at Tsunade's office."

"Are you fucking serious?" I yelled as I shot out of the couch. "No way am I paying for anything! I've told you people thousands of times that I'm tormented! If this is what it takes to get it through your fucking thick heads then I'll do it again and again." I kept yelling before I jumped up the stairs four at a time and slammed my bedroom door closed and locked it when I got into my room.

There was no way in hell that I'm paying for shit when it's not my damn fault …

Oh, my God … I'm sounding just like my Mom!

That's when I sat on my bed and dug into my bedside table drawer and dug for my razor that I hide in there and I almost dug the blade into my arm when there was a knock on the door, making me jump and throw the razor into the drawer and slam it shut just as the door opened.

"I wasn't done talking to you, Naruto." Dad said as he walked in and closed the door again.

"Don't you have to get to work?" I asked.

"Work can wait, right now, I have a problem at home that needs taken care of." Dad said, and I was getting pissed off again.

"Oh, I throw a chair in Tsunade's office and you finally realize that there's a problem at home?" I asked, and I could feel my eyes stinging. "You don't know half of what goes on here."

"Then tell me damn it!" Dad yelled. "I'm here now so tell me what I should know!"

"Like hell you'll believe a single word that comes from my mouth!" I yelled back. "I've told you time and time again that Mom needs fucking help for her goddamn bipolar issues and now I think I got the same fucking problems!" I added, but not without grabbing my lamp and threw it into my mirror. And in anger, I grabbed my computer chair and threw it into the same general area as my lamp and it broke into five pieces since it was a wood chair.

To be honest, I wanted to throw everything I could get my hands on, but I, instead, grabbed a handful of my hair and started pulling on it before I screamed at the top of my lungs and fell down onto my knees. By now, the tears that were stinging in my eyes earlier were freely falling down my face.

From where I sat, I saw a gleam in my carpet and realized that there was a sizeable shard of glass sitting there and picked it up, looking at my reflection in the shard and saw nothing but a despicable creature staring right back at me.

"How often does Kushina … your mother … have bipolar episodes, Naruto?" Dad asked, his voice calm and it scared me … a little bit.

"Every damn night before you come home. She's always tripping over the smallest things. Friday, she went off about how dishes weren't done and hit me with the handle of the broom until it broke. Usually she uses her hands to slap sense into me when I come home after she does." I told him, my voice hoarse from the screaming. "I love Mom, don't doubt me, but I'm just sick and tired of being the target of her episodes."

"I'll have a talk with your Mother when she gets home, okay?" Dad said. "Want me to help you clean up?"

"No … I'll get it as soon as I find the stupid vacuum cleaner." I sniffed.

"Well, start picking up the larger pieces and put them in your little trash can, I'll go get the vacuum." Dad said and left my room, with the door opened of course, but I took this opportunity to grasp the piece of glass in my left hand and squeeze my grip around it until my blood dripped from where the glass cut my hand and down its surface onto my gray carpet. Honestly, I didn't care if I got blood everywhere, it was something that released all my pent up frustrations that never left even after my 'little' emotional outbreak..

Then I wanted more of that release when I felt everything building up inside me again, and I took the shard and dug it into my right arm. And when once wasn't enough, I pulled it out and stabbed my arm a total of five times before Dad walked back into my room and dropped the vacuum, running over to me and grabbing me by both wrists to stop me from hurting myself anymore.

"Stop this Naruto, please." Dad said when I started struggling against him, and that's when I realized he was crying. Great, I made my Dad cry.

There were two reasons why I stopped struggling against my Dad, well, three. One is that I was just too mentally and physically exhausted to keep struggling, two, I made my Dad cry and he never cries, three, I'd never get free of him anyway. And it took both of us about ten minutes - half an hour or so in our minds - to stop crying and for my Dad to let my wrists go and take the glass out of my hand.

"Come on, lets go to the bathroom and clean you up." He sniffed, wiping his eyes and face dry with one arm as he pulled me up to my feet with the other. And, since I'm being honest with myself, I felt too weak to even stand up on my own, so when Dad went to take his hand away that was supporting me, I felt my knees buckle underneath me.

Thank God that Dad wasn't too far off because he caught me before I even got close to the glass covered floor and he carried me to the bathroom.

"I'm calling Tsunade to see if she'll do a house call." Dad said when we got to the bathroom and set me down near the toilet and helped me sit on it. "I'm also going to ask that both you and your mother take a psyche eval."

"She takes one first." I mumbled, surprised I even got words out. "I'll take one after her."

"I know Naruto, but you are taking one at the same time she is if we can help it, but with another psychologist. It'll take two days with both of you and right now, I'm not sure if you need to go to the hospital for a few days or not." Dad said, and I knew he was right on the money.

The first thing Dad did, was take a worn out towel from the closet and tore it into six strips before getting them soaking wet with cold water and tied each one around the five stab wounds on my arm and around my hand before he dried his hands off and pulled his cell phone out of his pocket.

"Yes, Tsunade … I need to know if you can make a house call … it's an emergency … Yea … Well, lets just say his bedroom looks like a crime scene right now … He broke quite a few things including his mirror, lamp and his computer chair … Uhm, he managed to stab himself pretty good with a nice sized shard while I went to get the vacuum cleaner after his episode that I thought was done and over with … Okay, and alright, see you in a few."

Why did he have to stay in here and talk to her … I really wasn't in the mood to hear about my outburst, once again.

"She's on her way, and Sakura has your stuff so she's coming over after school is let out in half an hour." Dad said as he put his phone in his pocket.

"You're letting her come over here?" I asked.

"She's only dropping your stuff off."

"We have a project in Advanced Biology that we need to get done." I whined, leaning back against the toilet.

"I'll think about it, okay?" Dad said, just as there was a loud bang on our front door and Dad jumped out of the bathroom and probably skipped steps as he went downstairs and answered the door. Tsunade must be here, there would be no other reason for there to be someone here at this hour. That's when I heard the light arguing coming up from the stairs and down the hallway before Tsunade came to the bathroom door way and dropped her black medical bag and stared at me like I had died where I sat. Hell, I felt like it, guess it's the blood loss.

"What the hell did you fucking do!?" She yelled, more in panic than anger or frustration than I thought she'd be screaming in.

"I had a bipolar moment, for the second time today in two hours." I mumbled, finally realizing I had very little feeling in my right arm as I tried to use it to get up.

"Don't move Naruto." Tsunade said as she walked into the bathroom and knelt down in front of me, removing the towel from my hand to see that damage first. "And you'll need stitches, I'm also going to need to work at a table, the kitchen table okay Minato?"

"Yea, want some cold water and a bowl for your rubbing alcohol?" Dad asked.

"Yes, Naruto and I will be down in a minute." Tsunade nodded and Dad rushed off down the stairs to do what she asked for.

"Want to tell me what happened?" She asked, and I knew she was talking about when it all started; at school during lunch.

"Kiba and Chouji dumped their lunch all over me, and I was already pissed with Kiba because he threatened to drag me to the woods and leave me there a bloody pulp this morning. I'm surprised that I didn't attack him in the cafeteria, but I think Sakura took care of it for me. I'm not sure." I repeated, but this time with a hoarse voice from all my yelling.

"Sakura, actually, nearly got hit by your flying chair. She also got some cuts from the glass that flew onto her, but you really need to be more aware of your surroundings." Tsunade said, and now I felt like the worst friend in the world. "And what happened in your room?"

"I started yelling at my Dad and I ended up throwing my lamp into my mirror and my computer chair into the same general area I think. I didn't look where I threw it at." I told her as she wrapped the towel around my hand again because it started bleeding again.

"Alright, well lets go downstairs and to the kitchen so we can get you fixed up okay?" She said as she stood up, helping me to my feet and grabbed her bag before we went downstairs with her helping me because I couldn't get my footing right and almost fell on the first stair.

"There we go." She said softly once we were down the stairs and she let me use her as a crutch into the kitchen and into one of the chairs. Dad already had the bowls ready and sitting on the table.

"How's he doing?" Dad asked as he sat down between baa-chan and me. God, he had to ask something as stupid as that?

"I don't know, but seeing as how dizzy he is, he might have to go to the hospital for a blood transfusion." Tsunade said, and I frowned.

"I don't want to go to the hospital." I hissed.

"Naruto, I'm afraid of taking the towels off of your arm in case you bleed out, you're already pale as a ghost." Tsunade argued.

"Then do what you will, I don't care anymore." I said and leaned forward, resting my head on the table. I just wanted to go to bed and lay there.

"I'm gonna take him to the ER Minato, you stay here and clean up the mess." Tsunade sighed a few seconds later before getting up.

"I'll take him to the car for you." Dad nodded as he got up too, but to be honest, I don't remember much after that because as I closed my eyes to blink, everything around me went dark.


	2. Chapter 2

AN: Sorry this took so long to update! I'm trying my best! I've been busying myself with this new trilogy that I started for something called NaNoWriMo and it took me 2 months and 2 weeks to finish the first book and it's around 145k words in total. I'm working slowly, and I mean painfully slowly, on book 2 because I have writers block -hence this fanfiction and Monsters Inside Me (which will be updated in a few days I hope). So, now that I'm done rambling and giving myself an excuse, here's chapter 2 you've been waiting for. And to let everyone know, I don't know if I'm going to have any pairings in here. So far, there's an ex pairing; Sasuke x Naruto, meaning that I'm officially making Naruto bisexual for this story (Sorry if everyone hates me because of that) Now, on with the chapter!

_**Chapter 2**_

_**A New Low**_

I couldn't believe that Tsunade said I should stay in the psyche ward of the hospital for forty-five days after my bipolar episode at school and at home. What does she think I am? A freak show? Yes, I might have seriously hurt myself during my last episode, but I don't need to stay in the hospital that fucking long, so we made a deal and a week would be sufficient. I have homework and a major science project that needs finishing up with my team, though I wish Sasuke was out of the picture, seriously.

Great, now what are my friends at school going to think when I don't show up for a whole damn week? And I can't even work on my project here! Fucking hell!

"Hey, nurse lady, I have to make a phone call!" I yelled from the lounge area to a nurse who was sitting behind a glass window where most of the staff sit in on this part of the floor.

"You can make phone calls when Tsunade comes back from her work at school." The nurse said, and I glared at her.

"Fine, whatever! See that I fail my Advanced Biology class!" I yelled, crossing my arms as best as I could and pouted, but she didn't even look like she cared either. Whatever, I'm just pissed off that I'm here in the first place.

To be honest, I thought I died on the way to the hospital yesterday. I was so out of it that I didn't even realize I was coming here once I got onto the ambulance since Dad couldn't get me into the car because he totally fucking flipped when I lost consciousness. I had to be reminded this morning what happened yesterday. I had to get two or three transfusions in me once we got here. I was also told that when I stabbed my upper right arm, I hit something and I was bleeding out badly. Hell, they showed me the towels that were tied around my arm and they were a deep shade of red, that's how I knew they weren't shitting me around.

"I'm not even supposed to be here." I sighed, sinking into my seat when I heard someone walking down the hallway where our rooms were at. Yes, I said 'our' there's more people on this floor than just me. There's a schizophrenic, another bipolar kid, a depressed kid and a kid that's afraid of clowns. She's only here because she went psycho at her best friends' little brothers' birthday party when the clown came in. Almost killed the poor man. But that's what I heard, and I don't believe stories unless I hear them myself.

Then I got an idea, and I got up from the seat and went over to the glass window the nurse was sitting behind and knocked on it lightly before speaking.

"Is it possible that I can contact my father?" I asked, hoping that this would let me get a call out to the real world where people fucking exist.

"Ask Tsunade when she gets back." The nurse said, again, and it was starting to piss me off.

"You don't seem to care that I'm the son of the police chief?" I asked, my voice getting a little louder as I spoke.

"Could you please calm down, Naruto?" The nurse asked. Fucking hell? She knows my name and I don't know hers? That's not fucking right.

"Tell me your name and I'll be sure to calm down lady." I hissed as I glared at her, throwing one punch to the glass with my 'good' hand and wished I hadn't a moment later, but I made sure I didn't show any sign of pain when she stood up, glaring right back at me.

"The name's Matatabi, if you're really interested, brat." She hissed right back.

"Thank you." I snapped at her before I turned and walked down the hall to the room that was mine when I got up here. If this was going to be what my week consisted of, then I'm going to hang myself before the third day is up. I honestly don't know how much longer I can stand being with bitchy ass people any longer.

But when I got to my room and closed my door, I found a way to get my door handle to lock by jamming the chair that was in the room underneath the handle and I started pounding away on the door with my 'good' hand.

"I never asked to fucking be here you fucking bitch!" I yelled at the top of my lungs, dropping my head as I continued to throw punches at the door, even after I couldn't feel my hand anymore.

"What the hell are you doing in there Naruto?" The nurse, Matatabi I think, yelled over my pounding as I heard the door handle turn frantically as far as it could turn, which wasn't far either. But I ignored her and kept on hitting the door for a few more moments until I couldn't move my arm anymore and fell down to my knees and rested my head on the door.

"Please open the door Naruto." Matatabi begged, and I could tell she was done playing the games, but also worried.

"Just leave me alone." I said, but that's when I realized I was crying because my words were choked out and barely audible, but apparently she heard me.

"Just open the door so we can see if you're alright." She said, and that's when I heard the whispers outside my door, and not only that, I'm not stupid, I know that security is standing out there too with the other patients that are on this floor also.

Fucking hell, I'm not a goddamn freak show.

"I just want to be left alone. Is that so hard to fucking ask in this damn God forsaken place?" I said, but apparently no one caught the memo.

"Son, if you don't open this door, we'll have to break it down, and it's not going to be pretty for anybody." A male voice said, but I laughed. I started fucking laughing.

"Go ahead, make my day, it's not like it's already made as it is." I laughed as I got up, keeping now my other bad hand up to my chest since I couldn't bend it anymore as I went and laid down on the bed with my back to the door. I didn't even bother moving the chair away from it since I wanted to see them try to break it down.

Boy, was I proven wrong, because moments later, the door to my room was taken off its hinges and I only knew this when the chair fell over and rushing foot steps ran into the room behind me. Hell, I would have jumped off my bed, but I was grabbed a moment later and forced down onto my back when I was pinned down by many hands.

"Get the fuck off of me you fucking bastards!" I yelled. "Get off me or I'll fucking sue you all and that's not a fucking threat! It's a damn promise!"

That's when I managed to get one of my legs free and I kicked something, but I don't really know what it was. That's when I felt something sharp stick my left arm and suddenly, but slowly, everything around me started becoming fuzzy and my whole body started feeling like it weight a ton before everything around me went black.

My head was pounding, and I really wanted some Aleve, but to be honest, my whole body felt like I was being pressed by stones, well, more like a brick wall was laying down on top of me to keep me from moving at all and I could hear whispers all around me like someone was talking about me and wanted to make sure that I couldn't understand them, and it was pissing me off. But I'd say something if I could get myself to talk. All that would come forth, was a groan and me turning my head to the side towards the source of the voices and whispers.

"Oh, Naruto, you're awake." Someone said frantically, and it sounded a lot like my Dad, wasn't Mom here too? Or did she not care?

"Wh … happened?" I managed to say, though somehow I feel like everything's spinning.

"Well, do you remember barricading yourself in your room and punching your door until you broke your arm and hand?" A female voice asked, and it sounded like Tsunade. Still, no sign of my mother anywhere.

"Oh." I managed to say before I finally got myself to move, even though it was to roll onto one of my sides and tilt my head that way and puke. Then I heard Tsunade yell something somewhere in the distance, but I couldn't understand her at all as I fell back onto my back, but another urge to puke rose up and I tilted back onto that side and puked again. That was the last time I felt sick to my stomach, surprisingly, but now my throat burned like hell and my insides felt like they were on fire. I felt this before and I'm guessing it's acid reflux or something along those lines. Hell, when was the last time I fucking ate?

"Are you okay Naruto?" I heard my Dad's voice ask again before I finally got my eyes to open up and I saw him standing above me on my other side where I guess I didn't vomit all over the place after I blinked a few times to get my vision cleared.

"I feel better, actually." I mumbled, coughing a little bit. "Water?"

"Oh, here." He said, turning his back to me for a moment before turning back with a glass of water in hand along with an empty one. "Rinse your mouth out first before you actually start drinking." He suggested and I nodded as I lifted my head a little as he brought the glass to my mouth and poured a little bit of water into my mouth and I sloshed it around a bit before spitting into the empty cup he traded with the filled one before helping me drink the water. God, it felt so good going down my throat, and I wanted more.

"Take it a little bit at a time or you're going to get sick again." Dad said, and I glared at him as Tsunade came back into the room with a janitor or two to clean up the mess a bit.

"I'm going to move you to a temporary room until this one is clean, okay Naruto?" She said, and I glared harder at her.

"No fucking way. I'm not coming back in here with that stench!" I wanted to yell, but obviously, I couldn't get myself to say it louder than in an annoyed voice.

"Fine, you're getting a new room, next to someone named Sai, he's also new here, so you better get along with him also." Tsunade snapped as she crossed her arms, glaring right back at me.

"What the hell for?" I sneered.

"Because I'm extending your stay here for the full forty-five days. You're obviously needing to talk out some of your anger issues, learn how to control your anger so you won't hurt yourself anymore, and it's obvious that you cut yourself because of the scars on your arms. And don't peg me for someone stupid, Naruto, I've seen all kinds of scars and I'm not fucking blind. Also, you're going to be on medication starting now to control your bipolar disorder." She said, and I officially wanted to rip her head off.

"Like hell I'm staying here the full forty-five days you wench, we agreed that it'd never be fucking changed!" I finally yelled, I honestly didn't care how much it hurt.

"Naruto! You should look at yourself! Your left arm had reconstructive surgery in your hand and I had to put a pin in your wrist before I was fucking done with it! You can't even use your right arm yet after stabbing yourself five times with a goddamn piece of fucking glass from a mirror you fucking shattered before coming here and almost died of blood loss in the back of a fucking ambulance!" Tsunade yelled, louder than I did, and I felt myself sink into the bed even more with each passing word she said.

"Fine! Whatever! I don't care anymore! Tell that Sasuke bastard and Sakura that they'll have to do their project for Advanced Biology without me and tell Iruka-sensei that I won't be able to finish his goddamn book report assignment that's due this week!" I yelled, naming off the two most dire projects of my quarter and semester that made half of my grade for the entire class.

"Oh, don't think you're getting out of doing your homework, Naruto, I'm giving Sasuke and Sakura special permission to come and see you to get your project in science done." Tsunade said, and I felt the color drain from my face within seconds.

"No way in fucking hell are they coming here!" I screamed louder than her for once before my father stepped in and hit the back of my head as a signal that I should shut my damn mouth, but I glared at him. "Hit me again and I swear I'll make you wish you didn't fucking touch me!" Yea, I was beyond pissed off at the moment.

"Naruto, stop it, you're making a scene." He said after taking a step back. Great, he's fucking terrified of me now.

"So what if I'm making a fucking scene, I don't want to be here damn it!" I yelled, my voice cracking a little bit because it was dry again.

"Would you rather be sent somewhere else where you won't see anyone you know?" Tsunade asked, her voice calmer than before, and it was fucking creepy.

"Like a insane asylum? I fucking dare you to put me in one of those, see if I don't kill myself when I get put in one." I hissed as Dad left the room to get me hopefully a pitcher of damn water. These small ass cups won't fucking cut it. "And where the fuck is my Mom huh? Does she even care that I'm up here or what?"

"Your mother … I sent her home while you're here and she's being assigned scheduled therapy for her bipolar disorder." Tsunade said, and I heard the slight hesitation in her answer, so I knew she was lying through her teeth.

"You know full well that I know you're lying, tell me the damn truth? She booked it when she heard I'm up here didn't she? I'm not stupid, I know she doesn't love me like she claims that she does." I said, just as Dad got back … and my mother was with him. Good, now I can tell her how I've felt about her since she started directing her bipolar episodes in my face since I was seven.

"Naruto, stop it now." Dad threatened from the door way as Tsunade grabbed the pitcher of water from him and walked over to the other side of my bed and poured me a glass of water and put it in my right hand. At least I could grip it, and at least she didn't pour the water all over me. But that was the first moment that I realized that the janitors had left, God, I must have been really out of it while I was yelling at everyone.

"Stop what?" I asked, raising an eyebrow as I somehow managed to lift the glass of water to my lips and drink from it. I honestly don't remember when the head of my bed was put up, I guess it was like that before I regained consciousness.

"You know exactly what I'm talking about." Dad hissed, but I only glared as Mom came up to the bed and sat down in the other chair. Dad only crossed his arms and leaned against the door way. Good, I pissed him off.

"Are you feeling okay hon?" Mom asked, and I wanted to blow up in her fucking face for asking such a stupid question.

"You really had to ask?" I barked at her, wishing I could use my hands for once, now holding my glass out towards Tsunade a little bit and she poured me some more water, I used this opportunity to see how well my arm actually worked and tossed the contents of my cup all over my mother. "Now get out!" Hell, I could move my arm better than I thought I could.

"That's it Naruto, forty-five days here and I'm not changing my mind, this is the last fucking straw!" Tsunade yelled over Mom's cursing before I felt something hard hit my head when I turned to yell at Tsunade. Fuck, my head felt like I was hit with a goddamn iron pipe or something along those lines.

"How dare you do that to your own damn mother you ungrateful little shit!" Mom's voice yelled and I felt something hit my head again, just as hard as before. The only way I could get myself shielded from whatever she was hitting me with was sinking in the bed and somehow pulling the pillow over my head.

"Kushina! Stop it!" I heard Dad yell a second later and I guess he grabbed her and dragged her out of the room, but I didn't bother looking because I couldn't get my vision to clear.

"Wh-What the h-hell did she hit me w-with?" I stammered, for some odd reason, I couldn't get my words to come out right.

"She was hitting you with the chair, Naruto, are you okay?" Tsunade asked when I suddenly felt hands on me, making me flinch when they inspected my head.

"How many fingers am I holding up?" Tsunade asked when some fingers were shoved in my face, honestly, I could see only three.

"Three?" Yes, I asked, because I didn't know if I was seeing things or not.

"Good, you're okay on visual, say something else please." She said.

"I … I think I'm gonna be f-fine." I panted, I felt tired, to be honest. "I'm tired."

"I know you're tired, but please stay awake." Tsunade said, and I could tell she felt sorry for me for once today. "Hey, Naruto, can you remember three words for me?"

"What?" I asked when someone helped me sit back up in bed and fix my pillows before suddenly the bed started moving, but I had my eyes closed so I didn't know if I was being rolled out of the room or my head was just being lowered.

"Please remember pencil, black and Washington." She said. "It'll help us see if she hit you hard enough for brain damage, but please open your eyes so you don't start falling asleep."

"Pencil, black … and Washington?" I repeated after slowly opening my eyes to show her that I was still awake. "Am I still in my room?"

"No, you're in the new room I told you about, we just got here." She said, "and we lowered your head too."

"Okay." I sighed, closing my eyes again because the light was bothering me a little bit. "How long do I have to stay up?"

"Until I say so, okay?" Tsunade said, and I whined as I used my right hand to rub at my eyes a little bit, but God that fucking hurt.

"Whatever." I mumbled. "May I put my head up?"

"In about thirty minutes you can, okay?" Tsunade said as she sat down in the chair next to the bed and I sighed once again.

After about two hours had passed, I think, and finding out that I had been out for two days after my little incident with my arm and the door in my old room, Tsunade decided that I was okay to do whatever I needed to do, so Sasuke and Sakura were allowed to come up to the floor and work on the science project with me so we could get it done and over with since this was probably the only day I would be able to work on it. And to be honest, I didn't think that they'd just stand in the door way and stare at me like I was some sort of freak show monument or something, and it was starting to piss me off a little bit.

"Hey, you two, I'm not something that needs to be stared at." I hissed, regaining their attention as Sakura reached behind her head and gave me an apologetic smile and Sasuke just shrugged his shoulders and huffed before they finished walking into the room and sat in the chairs that Tsunade provided for them … all because she had the only comfortable looking chair in the whole room and wanted to stay in here while we worked.

"Baa-chan, you know that we'll work on our project, you don't have to stay in here." I sighed heavily for the hundredth time since we talked about it half an hour ago.

"I have my reasons and it's to make sure no one else on this floor gets what they brought in." She said as she pointed to the door that was now closed.

"But don't you have surgeries you have to do today?" I whined when Sakura and Sasuke took their seats and started getting their stuff out.

"Nope, they've all been rescheduled to other doctors and the ones that I had to do have already been taken care of while you were unconscious for two days." Tsunade said as she crossed her arms in front of her chest and put one knee over the other as she slouched in her chair slightly. God, why did she have to stay here?

"Um, Naruto, are you left handed or right handed?" Sakura asked. "I always seem to forget, I'm sorry."

"I'm right handed." I said, now wishing I hadn't answered, but then again Tsunade would tell her the truth anyway so it would have been a waste of time. "And it's okay, honestly, I can write with both hands on occasion." I added with a shrug as she handed me the project stuff that I had Tsunade tell her to bring.

"Thanks Sakura." I mumbled when I started going through what she handed me.

"I've done almost all the research for the paper, you just need to go through and take your notes so that I can type up what you want me to. I'll be happy to do that for you since you're probably not going to be able to use your left hand for a long while." She said, but I honestly wished she hadn't brought the hand up, but it was hard not to.

"I'll be fine, but yea, you're probably going to have to type it up instead of me, like you said." I said, now wishing I never did what I did two days ago in the first place.

"And before I forget, I also got everything ready to put up with our presentation, but honestly, Naruto, I don't know if Kabuto-sensei will let you pass without being there for the presentation." Sasuke said, and I knew he was right.

"He better damn well let Naruto pass, I'll have a word with him myself if he has a problem with it. I'll have a note for you two before you leave to give to him in the morning." Tsunade hissed, and the three of us nodded, though I knew I didn't have to.

"And when do you think you'll be able to come back home or school Naruto?" Sakura asked, and I knew full well that she wishes that I were with her back at school, mostly to have company when she had to work alone with Sasuke.

"He's leaving in three weeks." Tsunade answered when I said nothing because, honestly, she had mentioned about changing her mind once again on how long I'm going to be here. And it surprised me when she said a much shorter sentence than I thought she would. "He's already been here for three days, so he has roughly eighteen more days here. Then he'll need someone's help with his school things for another three weeks or so until his arm is better."

"How bad was your arm hurt Naruto?" Sakura asked as Sasuke started sighing and got to work on labeling what he had for his poster board that he had at home so he could put it together.

"I apparently had surgery and some reconstruction done …" I said, because that's all I remember baa-chan telling me.

"He did a real number on it." She added, and I turned to glare at her, but not without catching a glare from Sakura from the corner of my eye.

"You did that to yourself?" She asked, and she sounded angry.

"Yes, all of it is from me … So what?" I hissed when I turned back to Sakura.

"Okay, lets change the damn subject already." Tsunade said loudly.

"Did Kabuto-sensei say how he wanted the paper written?" I asked, knowing nothing else of what to change the subject to as I went back through her print outs and her own notes.

"Kabuto-sensei wants a five page essay." Sakura said hesitantly, and I cursed low under my breath.

"There's no way we can write a five page essay with how little this fucking cat is known. Damn it, why did we get fascinated by this one?"

"How about we find a little more on the black jaguar before we officially write the paper?" Sasuke asked, and for once, he said something worthwhile since he got here.

"You guys will have to do that, I don't have that access here." I shrugged. "But I can do with what I got here and have Tsunade take with her what I get done tonight if she stops by in the morning." I sighed.

"I don't know about that Naruto. I probably won't have time. I still need to get you to see that shrink before I leave for the night." Tsunade said, and I couldn't believe she said that with these two here in the room!

"Can we for once today, not talk about my damn problems with these two in the goddamn room?" I almost yelled as I threw the papers back onto my lap without letting them go. "I really don't want someone else to know how fucked up I am."

"Naruto, everyone knows you're in the hospital, but they think it's because of something else …" Sakura mumbled under her breath, almost like she was thinking out loud.

"What do they think I'm here for?" I asked, now I could feel the panic rise inside of me and I wanted it to go away with a good answer from her.

"They think you got seriously injured from the incident in Tsunade's office, no one knows except us." Sakura said, and I sighed heavily. Thank fucking God they don't know I'm in the nut floor.

"Thank fucking God." I sighed vocally as I relaxed a bit. "The last thing I need is Kiba and Chouji finding out about this."

"I know, and don't worry, I won't tell a soul. My parents don't even know where you're at here in the hospital." Sakura said as she shrugged her shoulders.

"And don't forget, you guys have half an hour left before I have to get Naruto to see that shrink before I go home." Tsunade said, now telling us how much longer we have together, and I wished we had a whole hour instead, that way we could actually get something really accomplished. But since there was no talking her into it, five minutes later, I'm skimming through Sakura's print outs and notes, highlighting what I'm putting into the report and noted on the sides additional information that I thought should be added once I double checked everything and before I knew it, half an hour had gone by and Tsunade was starting to shoo the two out of the room.

"Baa-chan, please, ten more minutes so I can explain to Sakura what to type?" I begged one last time before she sighed heavily and tapped her heeled feet on the linoleum tiles before giving in.

"Fine, ten more minutes, and I'll be going down the hall to make sure that the therapist knows so he won't get irritated." Tsunade said before stomping out of the room and closing the door behind her. I knew, personally, that there had been a nurse nearby outside my door since it closed, so when the door opened to reveal the nurse from two days ago that pissed me off in general, I glared at her before I explained to Sakura about the report.

"Okay, just follow the notes, and you'll be set. I have everything in order that it should be typed and remember, don't try to retype everything that's highlighted, Kabuto-sensei can spot plagiarism a mile away." I said as I pointed out to her the order of the notes, her nodding away like she was almost afraid that if she said something, the nurse would tell her off and shit would really be flying through the roof because I would be trying to kill her.

"Okay Naruto, and thank you." Sakura finally said, packing the notes into her bag before giving me a small hug, but that's when Matatabi intervened and pulled Sakura away from the bed.

"Well excuse me." Sakura hissed at the nurse, I could tell from here she would have smacked the blue haired nurse if she could. "Did I do something wrong?"

"It's just that you can't do that." Matatabi scoffed as she crossed her arms.

"Get over yourself lady, it's not like I was going to do something illegal." Sakura snapped as she too crossed her arms in front of her when she got her back pack over her shoulders.

I was now witnessing a death staring contests, one of them being the meanest girls I know if she needed to be, and I could see her anger just growing as minutes went by. Where in the hell was Tsunade? I really didn't need to see Sakura get in trouble because of me.

"Okay, I have both of you a copy of the original note I told you I was going to write for Kabuto, now you two should get on going, it's after six and it's getting late." Tsunade's voice said once the door opened a few moments later and she only stopped talking when she saw how pissed off Sakura was.

"What's going on?" Tsunade finally asked when the anger that was making the air in my room thick started getting to her and now she was getting pissed off.

"I hugged Naruto and this wench dragged me away from the damn bed." Sakura said.

"Matatabi, what are you doing in here anyway, you were supposed to wait in the hallway for me to come back." Tsunade said, and she was pissed when she put her attention on the blue haired nurse, who seemed to now be terrified.

"I'm sorry Lady Tsunade, it's just …" She started saying.

"I know it's policy, but they're here to work on homework, and now that they're done, they can leave, but if they have to come back and you lay another hand on either of them two, you work somewhere else in this hospital and you won't fucking like it." Tsunade said, and she was serious.

"Yes ma'am." Matatabi squeaked and rushed out of the room, closing the door behind her and I wanted to laugh, but I wasn't in the mood.

"Now, I'll call your parents and ask you guys if you need to see Naruto about that project again." Tsunade said to Sasuke and Sakura who just nodded away. "I'll be back Naruto, I'm taking them downstairs where their parents are waiting."

"Alright baa-chan." I sighed heavily and the three of them left, two of them waving as they walked out and this time the door stayed open when Tsunade pushed it against the wall until there was a clicking sound. Then there was the sound of her heels clicking away with Sasuke's and Sakura's padded feet clad in school shoes. God, I wanted out of the bed now to walk around, stretch my legs and see the new guy Tsunade talked about earlier.

When I got to the hallway, it was just as bland as before, but I still wanted to see if I could find this kid and decided to look in all the rooms that were open. I knew, somewhat, where the ones that were already on this floor slept in when I first got here, so I didn't need to look in every room. Tsunade-baa-chan did mention that I was going to be next to his room, so that helped narrow the rooms down a lot, and from the looks of it, I was the last room in the hall now, so I only had two rooms to check; the one on the left, and the one across the hall.

And to be honest, I know from my first day here, that no one used to be across the hall, but since it was half closed, I decided to go and check it out.

"Hey, Naruto, you ready to see that shrink?" I heard Tsunade's voice say down the hall before I could get my hand up to knock on the door to see if anyone was in there, and I sighed heavily. Might as well get this bullshit done and over with, right?

"Sure, fine, whatever." I mumbled to myself when she got to me and wrapped an arm around my shoulders as she led me down the hall. Eighteen more days of this … lets see if I live, shall we?

When Tsunade got me to the therapists office, I was trembling and wishing I was back home already. Goddamn father and his stupid psych evals. Damn this stupid place too.

"Naruto, it's going to be okay, you'll like him." She said. Meh, like hell I'll like any therapist or psychologist. "I'll be waiting outside the room if you need me to."

"Please?" I asked as I finally looked up from the floor and to her with the most teary eyed look I could give her.

"Alright." She sighed. "Now I'll see you in thirty minutes. We didn't want you to take the full hour this time, but any time after today that you see him, will be an hour. Okay?"

I only nodded and occupied myself by staring at the floor again and I entered the office, with her opening and closing the door for me. Apparently, when I threw water on my Mom, I tore a few stitches here and there in my arm, so Tsunade refrained me from using either arm until she said I could. And right now, I looked like a moron; both of my arms in black slings and I looked really pathetic.

"Good evening Naruto, the name's Tenzo." The guy said as soon as the door was closed. "Here, take a seat." He added when I finally looked up and saw a brown haired man point to a chair directly across from him.

I only glared before looking around the room. The office … looked pretty nice, they were an off white color and one wall was covered in frames of diplomas and degrees from all the schools he studied at, one wall had an enormous book shelf and along another wall was a couch and another chair there. When I looked back at the chair he pointed to, I decided the couch was a more comfortable place to sit, and I made sure I voiced my opinion.

"I'll sit on the couch." I said, though I said it so low I didn't hear myself correctly and thought I said something else before I walked over and sat on the couch, curling up as I brought my knees up as far as my arms would let them.

"That's fine." The man said, and I already forgot his name, and he got up from behind his desk with a legal pad and a pen and came and sat down in the chair next to the couch. I guess he agreed also, either that or he just didn't want to piss me off.

"I forgot your name." I mumbled after a few minutes of the two of us being silent.

"The name's Dr. Tenzo, and during your stay here, I'll be your therapist." He said, and when I looked up at him, he had a small smile on his face. What the hell is so funny?

"Alright, and I don't mean to be rude, but what's so funny?" I asked him when I looked away.

"Nothing." He said. "It takes less energy to smile, than to frown."

"Did you get that from the internet or something?" I asked, hell, it sounded cheesy enough.

"I learned it from one of my teachers." He said, and I let it go with a small shrug. "So, Naruto, you want to explain what happened with your left arm?" He asked, and I started grinding my teeth together.

"I was pissed off and I decided to use my door as a punching bag." I snapped.

"And apparently, you used it as a very good punching bag. Do you know what the door looked like after you were done with it?" He said.

"No. And why does that matter?" I asked, looking at him with a raised eyebrow and before he said anything, he got up and went back over to his desk and grabbed a folder.

"Tsunade was insistent on getting photographs of the door in your old room, and I'm glad she did." He said as he sat back down, the folder open and he pulled out a few pictures and held them up for me to look at them. And I visibly cringed.

The door had several dents in it, a few cracks and plenty of blood. Hell, you could see where I rested my head on the door when I stopped and fell to my knees.

"I couldn't have done all that." I sniffed, trying to keep myself from crying all the same.

"Security said the same thing, until your father showed up in the middle of the commotion of them trying to get you out of your room and explained that you had amazing strength when you were upset." Tenzo said, and I could feel the color in my face drain in seconds.

"No, that couldn't have been my father that talked to me." I said out loud, then bit my bottom lip hard.

"I'm afraid it was." Tenzo said, then put the pictures down and closed the file.

"So, my father witnessed me having another episode … God, why does he have to be there for everyone of mine and completely miss and or ignore all of my Mom's episodes?" I grumbled, sinking into the couch some.

"Which leads me to my next question; How often does your mother have her episodes?" Tenzo asked.

"I told my father she has some sort of episode every day when I come home from school." I sighed.

"And how bad does her episodes get?"

"They can get pretty bad." I answered, then I started laughing. "One time, I came home late from a friends house. He had a party and I didn't know the drinks were spiked until I had already had enough to make me tipsy, and honestly, it took many drinks to make me tipsy. I had probably ten to fifteen drinks. And when I got home, Dad was on an assignment to solve some sort of homicide and Mom was waiting for me in the kitchen. Yes, we had verbal argument, but the moment she smelled my breath, it turned into a disaster. The last thing I remember from that night was my head being submerged in an ice cold bath." I explained, and laughed lightly again by the time I was done talking.

"Then the Friday before I came in, she broke a broom handle over my back because I came home late and didn't do the dishes like I promised." I added.

"So she can get pretty violent during her episodes." Tenzo said, and I knew he didn't ask, because he was writing something down on the legal pad and he looked like he was thinking out loud too. "When did all of this start?"

"I don't know, maybe when I was seven." I shrugged. "I don't remember exactly."

"Alright." He nodded, making a couple more notes.

"Look, Tenzo right?" I said, and he nodded when he looked up at me. "Don't get me wrong, I love my mother. Sure, she has issues, but who in this world doesn't have issues? All I want is for her to get her bipolar issues under control."

"That's very noble of you Naruto, and I've actually spoken with your Mom a few hours ago." Tenzo said, and I shot my head up from where I had been staring at the tops of my knees and possibly got whip lash because I swung my head so fast and stared at him.

"Oh, your mother is in the adult section of this floor." He mused.

"Since when?" I asked, raising an eyebrow as best as I could while trying to get control of my composure.

"When she hit you in your room. Tsunade-sama made sure she was admitted at that moment." Tenzo said. "And your father recommended me to do your evaluations too, and I'll be doing yours tomorrow, your mother is already finished." He added. Wait, isn't that breaking doctor-patient confidentiality?

"You're breaking doctor-patient confidentiality when you tell me that." I sighed, looking away and went back to staring at my knees.

"I didn't tell you what we talked about, right?" Tenzo asked.

"No, I guess not." I sighed heavily.

"Now, I have a question about your school." Tenzo said, trying to change the subject away from my mother, and he did it poorly.

"What about school?" I hissed.

"Your father mentioned to me what you told him what goes on, but I'd like to hear it from you, if you don't mind." He said, and I turned my head to glare at him.

"I'm bullied every day, I have to work with Sasuke-teme for an Advanced Biology project, I'm threatened all the time and that's the story." I snapped at him, great, now I'm getting irritated.

"What do these people threatened you with and how?" He asked.

"They threaten to beat me to an inch of my life and leave me for dead and they do it with their fists and feet, other times I've been stabbed and beaten with bats and once I was fucking burned." I yelled, refusing to go any further than that as I shot up off the couch in one fluid motion.

"We still have a few minutes." Tenzo said, but I ignored him and kicked the table out of my way that I didn't notice earlier when I walked in and kicked the door open. I had forgotten Tsunade was standing by the door, so I heard an earful of her startled yell as I walked into the hallway and stormed off in the direction of my room.

"Naruto! Come back here!" I heard Tsunade said once I got towards the meeting area where there's three couches, several tables with chairs, a television and the door where we leave and enter this section of the floor where there's also a nurses station that sits behind a glass pane and a door to get in and out of there too.

But I kept walking, I didn't want to talk to her right now. All I wanted to do was barricade myself in the room I'm staying in and lay down, sleep until my stay here is over.

I was about to pass the nurses' station when I felt a hand on my shoulder and stop me in my tracks just to turn me around, and it turned out to be Tsunade who stopped me.

"What happened in there Naruto?" She asked, and she looked pissed.

"I just want to be left alone. My head hurts and I want to lay down, listen to nothing but silence." I sighed, turning and leaving a stunned Tsunade behind me as I went to my room, leaving the door open this time and laid down on the bed. Right now I wished that I had more pillows, this one was too thin, but I'll deal with it for now I guess.


	3. Chapter 3

_**Chapter 3**_

_**The kid named Sai**_

"So, you're Naruto?" A male voice asked behind me since my back was to the doorway the next morning, about an hour after breakfast. I was given a schedule after dinner yesterday and I didn't need to see Dr. Tenzo until after lunch, which I was grateful for; it meant I could do whatever I wanted until then since I couldn't really do my homework for another day or two.

Upon realizing that ignoring this kid wasn't going to work after waiting a few minutes with eyes boring into my back, I sighed heavily and rolled onto my back and forced myself to sit up and stare at the man standing in my doorway.

His skin was pale, like Sasuke's though it was sickly pale instead of just never tanning pale. He had black eyes, just like Sasuke, and black hair … just like Sasuke, save for it being really short. Hell, I wonder if he has the same attitude as Sasuke!

"And who wants to know?" I asked.

"I do, the name's Sai." The guy said as he raised his right hand a little bit and waved, smiling the fakest smile I've ever seen.

"And don't smile at me like that when it's so obvious that it's forced." I snapped.

"You can tell?" He asked, and he sounded slightly surprised.

"Yea, obviously since I mentioned it, freak." I huffed as I glared at him. "Now, so you know as well, I want to be left alone."

"Do you have a dick? Because your attitude reminds me of a Pmsing girl." Sai asked, and I swore I saw red in five seconds after the initial shock of what he asked over shadowed me.

The next thing I know, I was standing in the door way and Sai was on the ground against the wall by his door heaving for air.

"What gives you the right to ask someone that kind of shit!? It's obvious that I'm a guy you fucking pathetic piece of trash!" I yelled as loud as I could and ignored the sound of rushing foot steps coming towards us. "Learn to keep your damn thoughts to yourself and never talk to me again!" I added just as several hands grabbed at me and dragged me back into my room, but I was too pissed off to care as I fought to get them off ever so slightly while I watched two nurses to see if the bastard was alright.

"Calm down Naruto or are we going to have to sedate you!?" A nurse yelled in my ear when they finally got me in my room and on my back on my bed.

"I am calm!" I yelled at their faces. "You're hurting my arms!" Which is true, and that's the only reason I'm struggling right now.

With a sigh of relief, I relaxed once they all let me go, for once not resorting to using sedations before I could get a word in like last time.

"Would you mind telling us what happened, Naruto?" One of the nurses asked, and it shocked me because he was male and everything. Someone new, he has to be.

"Once I know your name, of course." I glared.

"My name's Yagura, I'm new to the floor, but I've been working in the hospital as a registered nurse for the last eight years." He said, and I had to stare at him for a few seconds to get a good look at him.

"How in the hell is that possible? You look like you should be in middle school!" I said, my voice back to is usual annoying loud self. Hell, he was shorter than I am!

"I happen to be twenty-two you asshole!" Yagura hissed at me with a raised fist, but he still looked like a kid. "I just so happen to be short because I had short parents!"

"Well, anyway, what happened?" Another nurse asked, and I recognized her as Matatabi. I still hate her for how she treated my friends yesterday.

"And I'm going to tell you first that I hate you." I said with a glare to her before I looked to Yagura and huffed as I shot up into a sitting position without any sort of help. "The guy wouldn't leave me alone and I kept asking him to, then out of the blue he had to ask me if I was a fucking girl with the exact words 'do you have a dick? Because you reminds me of a Pmsing girl.' Honestly, I didn't think I hit him that hard but I don't know what happened for a few seconds because the last thing I remember before yelling was that I was sitting on my bed arguing with the bastard."

"Well, you're going to have to stay in here under watch since you attacked another patient. I'll call your therapist and tell him the situation and we'll need to call Tsunade about this as well." Matatabi said as she crossed her arms, her voice saying it'll be a pain, but the look on her face was sincere. "Your therapist will let us know after your moved session about the medication you'll be taking if he wants you on anything."

"Wait, moved session? I'm not seeing him any earlier than what I was told I'll see him!" I yelled.

"I'm sorry Naruto, but those are our policies." She shrugged and left the room to make her calls.

"Naruto, would you like me to stay by?" Yaguro asked, making me look at him with a weird look and a raised eyebrow. "What? It'll be better me than Matatabi, right?"

"Yea, and I don't hate you, not yet. I have no reason to hate you." I shrugged as the other nurses filed out, taking note that I'm on watch now so I can't go anywhere without someone tailing me. "And by watch … you guys have to watch me take a shower and use the bathroom?"

"If I remember reading the policies, yes, but Tsunade will decide if you're on watch when she gets here in a little bit For now, we have to follow procedure." Yaguro answered, crossing his arms in thought. Which gave me the chance to really look him over. He has slightly pale skin, though you can tell he can tan when he's out in the sun. His hair looks like it could be platinum blonde, but at the same time reminds me of a lesser shade of sandy blonde, it's short and part of his bangs partially cover his right eye … wait, he has purple eyes!

"What are you staring at?" He asked, his eyebrow raised in confusion.

"Are your eyes really that color?" I asked.

"Yes, they are." He nodded.

I blinked at him for a few minutes before I sighed and laid back down, rolling onto my right arm so my back was to the door and I curled up into a ball as best as I could. A nap sounded so good right now, and I hope that he won't watch me sleep, because that's just creepy, even if it has to be done.

"So, Naruto, you attacked Sai … and thank goodness it wasn't too severe, though he's seriously bruised from where you kicked him." Tenzo said when I got comfortable on the couch in his office that I sat in yesterday. God, was I going to be told this every time I come in here?

"Well I couldn't help it. I truly didn't mean to kick him that hard!" I repeated. "And I still don't have a clue how I got there in the first place!"

"Sometimes, Naruto, people with bipolar disorder, they don't remember most of their episodes." Tenzo said, taking note on what I relayed to him and I glared.

"You can't be serious." I said, words dripping with sarcasm as I stared at my hands. I could move my right arm much better than yesterday, and when Tsunade came in earlier, she looked at it and said I could have the stitches out by the end of this week or beginning of next week.

"I am, actually, did you forget that I'm a therapist?" Tenzo said, completely ignoring my sarcasm, which makes me mad but I shrug it off.

"Do you want to tell me what happened to make you so angry?" Tenzo asked after a few minutes of silence, but I just sit there, my mind completely blank, then I thought about my episode I had when I was home with my Dad … remembering the depressing bit after I let all my anger out. Why haven't I gotten that depressed after my few episodes I've already had since I got here?

"Tenzo … I have a question." I said, voice low and I refused to look at him.

"What is it?" He asked.

"Why haven't I gone into a depressed state, like I did at home with my father before coming here, after my few episodes I've had while I've been here?"

"Well, there are a few possible explanations; one, you were probably holding all your anger inside you until you weren't able to keep it pent up, which lead to you having a depressed state after your episode Friday. Two, your episodes here probably haven't been bad enough for you to go into a depressed state." Tenzo explained. "Those are two very likely explanations for your question."

"Alright." I nodded, but I'm starting to wish I was back in my room again.

"Are you feeling depressed?" He asked a few moments later, this time making me look at him.

"Kind of … but I think it's more of guilt for hurting Sai as bad as I did." I sighed, looking away from him again as I talked. Why can't I keep eye contact with him today?

"Naruto, if you want to apologize to Sai about what you did, then you can." Tenzo said as I felt him place a hand softly on my shoulder. When I looked at him, he had a small smile on his face, and it showed me he really meant what he said.

"But what if he doesn't accept it?"

"As long as you apologize, that's all that matters." He shrugged, leaning back into his chair. "Oh, and one thing I can tell you about Sai, he has a hard time with other people, and he doesn't know what emotions are."

"Wait, what?" I asked, my feet on the floor as I turned to face him in disbelief. "You have to be kidding."

"I'm not, but I'll leave him to tell you the story, since I can't." Tenzo said with a small nod, and he looks dead serious.

"Great, now I feel even more fucking guilty." I mumbled under my breath and turn back to my original position on the couch, sulking.

"Alright, Naruto, I'm going to tell you this now, since this wraps up our session today, you'll be taking some medicine, two of them; one is for your bipolar disorder, and the other is for whenever you have an episode, and it'll help you calm down." Tenzo said after a few minutes of him writing something down on his clip board.

"May I know what they are?" I asked.

"One is called Latuda and the other is a generic brand of olanzopine. Olanzopine is the one that will help you calm down. And you'll start low, half a pill on the Latuda for a while and it'll increase every week until you're at one and a half pills." He tells me, and I nod. At least we're getting somewhere now. "I'll know later on before you leave if you should be on any anti-depressants or not, just to be on the safe side."

Again I nod, and stand up.

"I'll see you tomorrow?" I asked.

"Yes, and it should be on regular time." He nodded from what I could see out of the corner of my eye.

"Alright, see you tomorrow." I said, nodding to him slightly before taking my leave and walked back down the hallway towards my room with Yagura next to me.

"Well, how was your session?" He asks, trying to get rid of the silence that formed between us.

"Brought out nothing but guilt." I mumbled, wishing I could cross my arms but I can't.

"I'll go with you if you want to visit Sai, he's not upset about what happened." Yagura said, raising his hands and lacing his fingers together behind his head. He looked genuinely bored.

"And Tsunade-baa-chan said I'm stuck with you for a week?" I asked, now the two of us reaching the general area where we can watch television and visit family. I wish I could see Dad right now …

"Yea, just until your medicine kicks in at least." He said, and I sighed heavily as we walked on to the hallway towards my room since that's where I want to go, but I'll stop by Sai's room for a moment.

When we get to the point where I need to make a decision on going to my room or to Sai's room, I sigh heavily and go to Sai's room with Yagura trailing right behind me.

"Oh, hello Naruto." Sai said when he turned his head to look at me when he heard us walk in, that same fake smile on his face like last time and it takes a miracle to keep me from blowing up in his face about it.

"Hi Sai …" I mumbled, stopping when I'm a foot or so away from his bed. I find it hard to look at his face anymore, so my eyes focus on his chest where I kicked him.

"Don't worry, nothing broke. I'm just really bruised that's all." He said, a hand coming up to rest where my foot made contact. Honestly, I want to see for myself what damage I did to him.

"I'm sorry." I said after a few minutes of silence and stood there waiting for him to say something now.

"Apology accepted." Sai said a few moments later, forcing me to look up at him and look him in the eye. Though they were closed because he was smiling, this time, I could tell it was somewhat genuine. This got me smiling a small smile back to him with a light chuckle.

"Okay, hey, when are you allowed out of bed?" I asked.

"Um, I think tomorrow, if I don't move around too much before then. I sometimes heal fast, depending on the injury." He said, raising a hand to scratch the side of his face as he thought.

"Alright, I'll see you for breakfast then." I nodded with a smirk as I turned to leave the room.

"Wait, Naruto, could you hold on a second?" Sai suddenly said, my back was to him and I was almost out of the room when he stopped me in my tracks, turning to face him and he looked like he was genuinely sad about something, which in turn made me raise an eyebrow.

"Sure, what is it?" I asked.

"Eat lunch with me?" Sai asked after a few more minutes of silence, but then looking at his chest again, the guilt welled up inside me again and I found myself shaking my head.

"How about tomorrow?" I asked, well, more like suggested. " To rest yourself up a bit longer and we'll eat lunch together."

Sai looked at me for a moment, before smiling and nodding. It was starting to show a little bit of fakeness in it, but I let it go, considering what Tenzo said to me a little bit ago was still lingering in my mind and I nodded back to him as I turned around and went back to my room … with Yagura right behind me. God, I wish he went away already.

"Want to work on your homework?" Yagura asked when we got back to my room and I threw myself onto the bed, wanting to lay down for a little bit and let my mind quiet itself down for a while.

"I can't actually work on my homework right now until Tsunade says I can use my right arm." I sighed, half wondering why he didn't get that memo yet.

"Oh, that's right." He half laughed. "I'm not used to seeing patients with both arms injured and all. So, mind telling me how you hurt yourself? You don't have to, it's just something for conversation."

"Well, my right arm is from stabbing myself with glass after an episode and my left arm is from using my door as a punching bag until I couldn't move it anymore. From what Tsu-baa-chan and Tenzo said, I did some pretty gruesome damage to the door and my arm." I told him. "Tsu-baa-chan said she had to do reconstructive surgery on it and Tenzo showed me the picture of the door I used to have, and it was like someone ran into it at full speed with a sledge hammer."

Okay, I didn't use exact words, but that's what the damage reminded me of anyway.

"How is that possible? These doors are solid." He said, and for emphasis, he knocked on my door a few times to show it wasn't hallow.

"Ask Tenzo to show you the picture." I said, yawning a bit.

"Dude, you just had a nap, you're that tired already?" Yagura asked, and I could tell he was slightly disappointed in my enthusiasm.

"And you got a problem with that? I'm bored, and when I'm bored, I'm tired." I told him as I sat up and crossed my legs. Great, my idea for a nap was out of the question since he wouldn't stop talking. "Is there any way I'm allowed paper and a pen around here?"

"It all depends on what your goal is with those said objects." He said, the question in the tone of his voice evident as I stared at him.

"I write a lot when I'm bored too when I can't sleep for a nap, and there's nothing else I can do. Besides, homework won't come in until later no matter what anyway." I told him while I was taking a look at my right arm, using my teeth afterwards to tear off the bandages.

"What are you doing! Tsunade-sama should be the one to take those off!" Yagura said, alarmed and rushed over to try and stop me but the bandages were already off. "Jesus Christ! How many times did you fucking stab yourself?" He shrieked when he saw the six different places I had stitches at.

"I guess I stabbed myself six times, I thought it was more than that." I mumbled, thinking out loud was more like it. Then I tried moving my arm out of the sling that it was now barely sitting in, and the only discomfort I got was from the slight pull of the stitches, but other than that, I looked like I was healed enough for them to come out. "When is baa-chan coming in again?"

"She's coming in during lunch, I think." Yagura answered. "She has a surgery scheduled at two and she wanted to see you before she went to get ready."

"Great." I sighed, then let myself fall back onto the bed, squirming a little bit out of boredom. "I'm going to start ripping my hair out if I don't find something to do."

"If you can use your hand, I'll see about getting you a note pad and a pen." Yagura sighed, showing signs of agitation because of my complaining, but I'm glad that he suggested he would.

Tsunade took the stitches out when she came over during lunch like Yagura said she would and used a liquid stitch to close the wounds on my right arm. I'm glad they're out, it means I can use my hand again and since I mentioned to Yagura that I write a lot, he was able to get me five notebooks in college rule and some ink joy papermate pens. Perfect! But personally, I think it was Dad that dropped them off. Which reminds me, I haven't seen him at all since Mom hurt me. God, is he going to avoid me now because I'm an emotional nut case?

Sighing, I went back to my writing. Somehow, I haven't been able to write much this time, mostly because I felt like something was off. Fuck, everything was fucking off; I haven't seen my father for God knows how long, Tsunade said Sakura and Sasuke were coming back to go over the last of the project with me to see if they needed anything in the report changed before they hand it in tomorrow, my Mom is in the other side of the same floor as me and I can't even bring myself to ask how she's doing or if she's being the shit that she is.

"Naruto, you shouldn't think so hard, it doesn't suit you." Yagura sighed from the corner by the bathroom where he decided to camp out at when Tsunade was done here. Yes, he moved into the room with me so he could keep an eye on me … Tsunade's idea. Fuck this shit.

"Fuck off." I hissed, throwing my pen at him and missed horribly before I laid back on my bed and rolled so my back was somewhat towards him, the lay awkward because I was laying on my left side for it to work. And to be honest, it was starting to throb so it was adding to my mood.

"Wanna tell me what's going on inside your heat?" Yagura asked, completely unfazed by my attitude.

"Stick it." I told him, but he only chuckled. Then I got an idea, "am I allowed to spend a few minutes alone in the bathroom?"

"I don't know … let me think about it." Yagura said, and I could tell he shrugged, I didn't have to look.

Sighing again, I sit up and grab a new pen and start writing nonsense, usually this works because it brings out an idea in my head while I'm blabbing out something like a prose. Then it suddenly hit me, a prose it is!

_I know I'm awake, but I don't know why I'm alive. I think I'm crying, because every time I rub my eyes, my face is damp from the tears I've become numb to. I know I am breathing, but why does each breath burn and make me feel like I'm suffocating? Am I alive? I know I was yesterday. Am I supposed to be here? Wait, why am I crying? Did someone hurt me? Did I hurt myself? I don't remember leaving my bed. But why am I here? Was I going to do something? I can't remember._

_ Am I supposed to be alive? If I am, what place in the world am I supposed to be apart of? I want to move, but it hurts to move, just like it hurts to breathe. Why does it hurt? I don't know anymore. Do I even want to live? If you were to ask me that now, I don't know if I could ever answer. Did someone call me? I don't recall hearing my name, but if they did, it'd mean that I exist. And if I existed, that'd mean someone's out there wanting me. Right? But why do I exist? To please others? Or am I a disappointment? Am I a disappointment? I know I'm already a disappointment to myself._

_ When was the last time I was happy? I could ask someone, could I? Would they look at me as if I was stupid if I did? I am stupid, right? I think I am, I seem to be talking to myself a lot lately. Does that make me insane? I mean, I'd have to be fucking insane if I'm talking to myself. I keep feeling like I'm supposed to do something, but I don't know what it was. I don't think I could get up and do it anyway. I feel numb. Unwanted, like no one ever wanted me anyway my entire life. I feel alone, enough to make it so that I don't want to live anymore. Because, somehow, I know I shouldn't be here anymore. Would anyone notice if I left? Would anyone notice if I stayed?_

I was suddenly pulled from my thoughts by a knock on my door and I quickly closed my journal so no one would read what I wrote. Honestly, I didn't think something that depressing would come out of me, especially right now since … well, I don't even know what I'm really feeling right now.

But when I looked up at the door, it was nurse Matatabi, who still hasn't earned my trust yet and she clearly showed she knew this as she crossed her arms and leaned in the doorway, glaring at me with her odd eye colors of the left one being orange-ish and her right eye color being something of a hazelnut color. God, was she wearing contacts? She had to be.

"Group starts in a few minutes brat." She said. Wait … did she just call me … brat?

"Fuck off you self-centered bitch and leave me alone." I hissed at her. "I'll go to group if I fucking want to."

"Watch it or I'll make sure you see your therapist again today." She warned, until Yagura coughed lightly in his chair and glared at her.

"One more word Matatabi and I'll report you for negligence." He said, and I couldn't help but smile and like the guy more.

Matatabi didn't say another word, and stalked off down the hall and I let out a heavy sigh and buried my face in my right hand while shaking my head back and forth slightly. I really want to get rid of that conceited bitch.

"I'm going to make promise to my threat … She won't be working here much long when I talk to Tsunade tomorrow morning." Yagura said, and stood up, stretching a little bit before cracking his neck both ways. "Come on, lets go to group."

"Why she coming in tomorrow?" I asked with a raised eyebrow.

"She wants to know your progress, and I think she was also going to pull you out for an MRI of your left arm. Maybe an x-ray. I can't remember which one she said." He shrugged.

I sighed again and put my journal in the pillow. I don't care that he knows where I put it, so long as he doesn't try and read it while I have my back turned. I hate it when people read what I write without my permission.

"And don't think about getting my journals I write in and reading them … that will get you put in number one on my hate list." I warned him and walked out of the room and towards the rec room, as I'm calling it. Entertainment room sounds too long anyway.

For my first time in group, it looked weird; the couch was moved to face the circle and the table was moved to the far end of the room while the chairs that usually surrounded the table were set in a circle with the couch. There were already a couple kids sitting in the circle, Sai was there, glad that he's up and moving anyway, and two others I haven't seen before. One was a red head with the Kanji for LOVE tattooed on his forehead above his left eye … eyes that were so teal they could have been sea green and the other kid was a girl with long auburn hair and soft green eyes that shone like emeralds. She even looked harmless! I wonder why she's here.

Then suddenly three more kids walked by me and went into the circle. One had brunette hair that was pulled back in a spiky ponytail and the way he walked showed me he was probably a lazy ass. The second one was a girl with lavender hair that reached the middle of her back and walked like she was the high priestess of the place. Mental note to self; don't piss her off. The third, however, had red hair like my mothers' and wore glasses. She, too, walked like she was the rule maker of the floor. Major mental note to self; leave the crazy bitches alone.

"Okay now kids, take a seat in the circle and only two kids on the couch, both on the far ends please." A male voice said from my left where the entrance to this place was and I glared; the man looked familiar, but not so much that I knew him right off the bat. Hell, he had gray hair but didn't look old, wore a mask over his face and had a nasty ass scar over his left eye. And with the way he was walking, it looked like he didn't want to be here at all.

"Mind if I join you Kakashi?" My very own therapist; Tenzo … said when I watched him leave his office.

"God, why do you have to join group therapy?" I asked before I realized what was coming out of my mouth and quickly bit my bottom lip hard before I went and said anything else.

"Because I can." Tenzo said as he crossed his arms and stared at me, then the name he said suddenly clicked in my head and I stared at the gray haired man while pointing at him.

"I knew you looked familiar you prick!" I said loudly. "What are you doing here?"

"Well, well, isn't it Naruto Uzumaki." Kakashi said, earning a glare from me as I lowered my arm and refused to look away or move from my spot. I don't care if everyone was staring at me.

"And don't you dare call me Uzumaki again. My name is Naruto Namikaze!" I spat. "You still didn't answer my question old man."

"I'm a therapist that works here part time as a group therapist for teenagers." He answered, hands digging into his pockets.

"Fine, whatever. And don't tell me you brought that piece of garbage you call literature with you." I said, and none too friendly either.

"It isn't your concern if I brought it or not." Kakashi said. "And it isn't garbage."

"Oh, that's right, it's porn." I spat before I decided to turn back to go to my room. I'd rather die a slow and painful death before sitting in group with this jerk for an hour.

"Not so fast, Naruto." Kakashi said, making me stop in my tracks, but I refused to look at him. "Tsunade told me that you have to be present for every group therapy session, and that includes today so get your ass in a seat and deal with it."

This time, was the last straw and before I knew it, my right fist was stuck in the door that was next to me on my right, trembling from the pain that was coursing through my very being and warm liquid dripping from my fist down my wrist and towards my elbow. I was grinding my teeth so hard that I honestly felt one of them chip under the pressure.

It wasn't hard to see how pissed off I was, but the gasps from the group behind me meant that they were impressed by my strength, but the words that left my mouth were what surprised me the most.

"I'm not stupid, you're here because my father wants you to keep a damn eye on me. I'm not fucking stupid!" I said, my voice getting louder the more I talked. By the time I was finished, I was yelling so loud my throat was scratching, and I yanked my fist out of the door before turning to face a stunned Kakashi, which earned a triumphant glare from me. "Why don't you go back to the police station and go back to your interrogation job."

"That's enough Naruto." Kakashi said, finally finding his voice as he barked at me. But I'm completely unfazed by the tone in his voice. "One more foot out of line, and you'll spend three days in solitary confinement."

"Try me." I huffed, then proceeded to go back to my room until I felt a hand on my shoulder. When I turned to see who had the audacity to touch me right now, it was Yagura, and he looked as serious as a freaking serial killer.

"Take that hand off of me or your face will look like that door in five seconds." I warned him, but it didn't seem to work.

"Sit, the fuck down, now." He growled, each word meant to make me feel small … and it almost worked until I pushed his hand off of me and stomped to the circle and threw myself in one of the chairs, earning a the two that sat on either side of me to scoot as far away as they could. But I didn't care, at least they were giving me some space to let off some steam.

"Okay, now that everyone's here, lets get started." Kakashi sighed heavily and took the middle seat on the couch, though there was only one other person sitting with him; the red head with glasses that I mentioned earlier. And she was staring at me like I was some piece of meat. God, kill me now! "And while we're working, Naruto's getting his hand fixed up so he can stop dripping blood all over the place."

"You know I hate you, right?" I glared at the gray haired man, but he only shrugged and leaned back into the couch while crossing his arms.

"Okay, introduce yourselves to this brat here and tell him one thing about yourselves." He instructed to the others in our circle.

"I'm Karin Uzumaki." The red head next to him said, and I blinked at her. She can't be related to me! "And I'm here because I stalked someone until it got so bad that they thought prison looked like a walk in the park."

"Just fucking great, my whole family line is nothing but a bunch of fucking freaks!" I grumbled loudly, earning a glare from the red head.

"I'm Gaara Sabaku." The red head with teal/sea green eyes said, his voice so monotonous and quiet I almost didn't hear him. And hell, he sounded like he was brooding. "And I hate humans." And I can already tell that he was the serial killer type … it was read in the emotionless face he had.

"I'm Haku." The brunette girl said. "Two things; One, I'm a boy and two I tried to drown myself in an ice bath."

God, he's a gorgeous boy … and I figured at least someone here would be adamant about telling about why they're here in the first place.

"I'm Sai, though you already knew that … and …" Sai said, and I could tell he was already having a hard time telling me something about himself. "I like to draw and pain."

"I'm Shion, and I'm a high priestess so you better treat me with respect." The girl with lavender hair said, and now that I look at her, she, too, had lavender eyes. God, someone with a religious complex.

"I'm Shikamaru Nara and I'm only here because my parents don't like how lazy I am though I have an IQ of over 200." The last brunette said, and I stared at him … An IQ … of over 200 … Where in the hell do they find freaks like this?

Oh wait, I'm a freak just like them.

Just then, a nurse walked into the group and knelt down in front of me and started working on my hand. I had just now looked down to see the damage that was inflicted and my knuckles were busted open almost to the bone … and I don't even feel the pain. Not even when I watched her work on my hand and sew it back together. Honestly, I was fascinated in how my skin came back together when she worked. But still, Matatabi pissed me off greatly, no matter how great of a nurse she is.

"Now introduce yourself blondie." Kakashi said, and I glared at him once again.

"I'm Naruto Namikaze if you didn't hear me before and I hate pricks like you and it's sad to say that my entire blood line of Uzumaki are fucking crazy people!"

When the nurse was done, I moved my hand around a little bit. It was limited, but at least I knew I could move it enough to write with. And when Kakashi spoke again, I really wanted to bolt down to my room and find some way to lock myself in there again. But with Yagura near by, I knew I wouldn't be able to get out of the circle fast enough to get very far. And this pissed me off.

"Okay, everyone's going to pair off and you'll be making up to five questions to ask each other. You have five minutes. Groups are Naruto and Sai, Gaara and Karin, Shikamaru and Shion. Haku will pair off with Shikamaru and Shion since there's seven of you. Now, get to work, here's paper and pens."

Then he got up off the couch and left us all to scoot together and use our laps as he handed out the pieces of paper and pens. God, I really want a table to work from.

"Naruto, Sai, you can work from the table seeing as Naruto will have a hard time because of his left arm." Kakashi said as he approached us last and I glared at him again before shooting up to my feet and went to the table with my chair, Sai right behind me.

When we took a seat at the table, I threw the paper and pen down on its surface and wished that I could just go to my room and calm down, until Sai spoke to me.

"I should be glad then that you didn't use your full strength on me when you kicked me, huh?" He asked, making me look up at him, surprised he said anything at all to me.

"I'm sorry you had to see that …" I found myself saying as I looked back down at the table. Hell, I never wanted anyone to truly see how angry I could become.

"So, I think I got a good question for you." Sai said, making me look up at him again. " 'What are the major triggers to your anger?'"

"That's a good question." I laughed lightly. "And a good one for you is, 'what is it with you and asking complete strangers about the sizes of their dicks?'" Though I think he knew I was joking because I was laughing lightly, but I stopped immediately when I saw he had a downcast look in his eyes and refused to look at me. "Hey, I'm sorry, that was a horrible joke on my part."

"No, you're right. But, to tell you the truth, that's all I know." Sai said, and it made me stare at him. What the hell did this guy go through?

"To be … bluntly honest … I think that's how it goes, I've been so far from any sort of emotion that I'm clueless to anything and everything around me. It all looks so foreign." He continued to explain, until I held my hand up to stop him.

"Don't tell me anymore unless you really want me to know what you've been through." I said, and I has a small smile on his face to show he didn't have to force himself to tell me anything, because it was obviously to me that he was uncomfortable in speaking to me about it.

"Thank you, I think." He said, his sickly pale cheeks gaining a dusting of pink in them as he scratched at his cheek. I'd be saying that's cute if I didn't lean towards the other side more than the guys.

"Just take one step at a time." I suggested with my famous Uzumaki smirk and proceeded to write five questions down and showed them to him, and he seemed impressed, probably because he didn't think I could write anything because of my hand.

"Here's my questions." He said as he handed me his paper;

1. What are the major triggers for your anger?

2. Why are their whisker marks on your face?

3. Do you have siblings?

4. Do you have loving parents?

5. What is school like?

"Really? These are the questions you want to know from me?" I asked, raising an eyebrow, especially about the last one.

"I've never been to school." He said, and now I felt sorry for him.

I had completely forgot that during lunch Yagura said my father was going to come and visit me today before he went home from work. But I know he's only stopping to see me because he's stopping to see my mother. I'm a pit stop, really. But at least I got to see him, right?

"How was your day?" Dad asked, and the glare I sent to him made him sink in his chair.

"Why in the fuck does Kakashi have to work here?" I asked him.

"That's what's got you so upset?" Dad asked. "He's here because he's worked here for years."

"You've got to be joking." I said, words dripping in sarcasm as I rolled my eyes. I couldn't believe he said Kakashi's worked here for years.

"Well, it's true, ever since he quit being an interrogator and gave that job to Ibiki." Dad told me.

"So, I have to apologize to him, don't I?" I asked, refusing to look up at my Dad to see the disappointed look in his eyes at how I've treated Kakashi.

"I think you should, but it's up to you." Dad said, and from what I could see, he shrugged.

"How's Mom doing?"

"She's doing okay, though she went off on Tenzo this morning and had to be put in solitary confinement." Dad sighed heavily.

"What the hell did she do?" I asked, completely shocked that my mother got pissed off enough to get sent there.

"I don't even know, doctor-patient confidentiality remember?"

"Fuck." I mumbled low, but he somehow managed to hear me and swat the back of my head for the use of foul language.

"Well, you know as well as I do, that Kakashi told me what happened before group therapy." Dad said. "He said you really need to work on your temper."

"I already know I need to work on my tempter old man." I grumbled, earning another swat to the back of my head … because I called him old.

"Then work on it, please."

"I am, but it's very hard when I have the stupid ass fucking Uzumaki low self-esteem shit and guess what! Karin is here!" I told him, remembering who she was an hour ago because I once heard Mom mentioning that some distant Uzumaki family was moving to Konoha a couple years ago.

"Karin?" And he said I was stupid sometimes.

"Karin Uzumaki! She's my second cousin!" I almost yelled. "And apparently she's a fucking stalker! My entire Uzumaki heritage is a fucking joke of mental cases!"

"Your mother will have your head if she ever heard you say something like that." Dad warned, but I didn't care.

"Does it really look like I care?" I sighed heavily and stood up. "I'm tired, you should probably go home and get some sleep."

And before Dad could get another word in, I walked away from him - with Yagura in tow - and walked back to my room and dragged my journal I wrote in earlier. I wanted to get some stuff off of my mind, and this was the only way I could;

_September 21, 2011 6:17pm_

_I'm pathetic, want to know why? Because I know my father doesn't want me. It's completely obvious in the way he talks to me. The way he looks at me. And the way he doesn't truly want to be around me._

_ Maybe being here is good, it's showing me how much of an idiot I've been for thinking people truly care about me when I should have realized they didn't. People only liked me because they had to._

_ What am I thinking? Oh, that's right, I've felt like this since group after lunch … when I had my episode. I guess Kakashi pissed me off enough for me to be depressed this time, or is it just my imagination and I'm depressed because I know Dad only saw me because he's here to see his wife?_

_ I hate her, my mother, she's done nothing but screw my life over. I shouldn't have been born like an Uzumaki. Why couldn't I be more like my father? A Namikaze? I would be much happier, wouldn't I? I don't know anymore, I really don't._

_ I guess, there is one thing I can be glad about … I think … it's that Sai isn't too hurt after I attacked him like I did this morning. He's up and moving around, which is good. But it's my fault he's hurt … maybe I should get myself locked up in solitary confinement or something … possibly for a whole week. A whole week in a padded room with only yourself to keep you company. But I should be used to that anyway because I'm always alone anyway …_

_I'll always be alone … N~N_


End file.
